And the road begins...

An email notification pops up on my outlook tab. Said email contains a link about an endurance competition. It read "Do you like being blasted by fire hoses? Have you ever dreamt of 15ft. high monkey bars above an ice cold lake? What if half of the monkey bars are greased! How about if I told you that you could be shocked by 10,000 volts after completing a 10 mile run?! If you like shitting your pants and vomiting after paying a minimal $160 entrance fee, boy have I got the event for you!!" Thinking back on it, I may be paraphrasing, but if you read the website you can see it really isnt to far off. I decided in about 10 seconds that I, Brandon Lirio, want to pay $160 of my HARDEST earned AF dollars to shit said pants and vomit.

As day one began, I couldn't have been more pumped to meet my future teammates and make the weights wish they had been ordered for a Jenny Craig building somewhere in Mississippi where the only heavy lifting is done from the fried mayonnaise balls tins to the mouth. As soon as i walk in I notice a very interesting fact... I am the only Air Force member in the group of four. I then learned that more people were involved, including my pudgy brothers in blue (obviously just a motivation taunt), but were just unable to make it that day. Everyone seemed extremely cool about it and it became about Tough Mudder's vs. Everyone else. I slowly learned during the workout that its SSgt Lirio going cold Beast Mode and beating on a bunch of Marines and Soldiers (let the 3 month branch of service pissing contest begin...). Below is the day one trial workout, which will get WAY more intense each week. Below that is the details and difficulties of the workouts as well as the place where ill post any speed bumps or tips me and the guys seem to have for anyone who wants to try our training regiment.

The work out
3x                   30 second Planks to center, left and right
1x ea side        30 second Side Bends in the plank position
40                   Lying Leg Throws to center, left and right
x2 20 ea side    Floor Sweepers
20                   Sit-ups to standing position
10 Ct.             Alternating Leg Lifts at normal intervals for one set with a 6 inch hold for 10 seconds  then half time intervals and repeat with no breaks for four minutes
40 x2              Frog Kicks (Keep your legs and back off the ground and complete and knee to chest motion, then straighten your legs while still keeping them off the ground.)
10x2               Corn-cob Pull-ups
3 Min             4 man back to back seated Straight Arm Dumbbell Grabs
30 Sec ea.       *Super set* neutral grip Shrugs (Moderate weight), front grip DB Shrugs (Light weight), bent over Shoulder Flyes, behind the back Shrugs
Pre-run stretching exercises 
Each exercise was completed for a distance of 10 yards
Frankenstein leg kicks, Forward frog jumps, "In-Outs" (Walk wile keeping your foot level with the ground and rotating you leg from out to in as it is lifted to work the hip flexors), Mario Jumps (Exactly what it sounds like... a gay little skip with your fist in the air)
Run
2.5 miles at a continued 6MPH pace average (Hills included)

When we started working out we decided that due to the length of the course, we would need to increase the run distance by .5 miles every week. This would mean the week before competition would be a 7 mile run 4 times a week. Already complaints began by people who hadn't even shown up to the training session to which the USMC Sgt politely explained, "Gently remove your skirt and meet us out back." We also thought about incorporating some combatives to test our grappling and our brain focus when tired. This of course sparked a controversy about which branch of service tapped who at last weeks training session. After a good 10 mins of dick shaking, we decided it was time to hit the trail to run. We started out without a real set pace until our friendly neighborhood marine started to call cadence. Say what you want about lame it was in BMT and tech school, but it absolutely helps with rhythm breathing (A little trick taught to me by my friend at my first duty station... shout out to rugy) and always tells such vibrant story of love and triumph! We sung about C-130's flipping over and jumping out of planes with faulty chutes! You ever notice that? All cadence calls are attached to stories that make you find ways to get out of the military, not try and keep you motivated to stay in? Anyway,we arrive at the last hill of the run and I notice the cadence has gone silent. My comrades are starting to slow down... and then walk! YOU'RE GOING TO LET A TINY AF GNOME BEAT YOU!?! Sgt Pettingill decides the Marines arent! He catches up to me and we both start all out sprinting. Semper-fi! I tell the marine to be Army Strong and he begins to take the lead... for about 3 seconds until he falls back and yells out "FUCK YOU ZOOMIE!!" I promptly told him to fly into my wild blue yonder and took full use of my bragging rights.

It has now been 12 hours and I can say that the Marines and Army are having the last laugh. It has become increasingly hard to walk, especially with full extension of my right leg. Also, in my haste up the hill, I scraped my big toe in my Vibram's against the concrete and put a hole in them. "Karma? Yes it's Brandon... fuck you. Talk to you soon!"

The sarcasm and inter-service rivalry is obviously a motivation a ploy and most (I said most... not all. I cant just flat out lie) of it is phoned in to make egos flare. The stories and 90% of the dialog and 110% of the workouts and pain are true. Im going to continue writing this blog all the way up and through the day of the event. I do it because I have TREMENDOUS respect for the men and women choosing to do this with me and especially those in my group. We will motivate each other from here on out and I swear, I will not leave ANY of them behind! Not let them falter... and we will not fail! ... and that includes making sure they dont bitch out.

Until next time, everyone be safe!